SUCCESSFUL SERVICES
We are proud to announce Yom Kippur services with Rabbi Fred & Connie Friedman was a big success!
Yom Kippur services started at 9:00 a.m. and ended around 1 p.m. with a great sermon on ‘Mixed Seating” by Rabbi Fred Friedman. It was an appropriate topic as the services had separating seats for women and men. Below is a copy of Rabbi Friedman’s sermon.
RABBI FRIEDMAN’S SERMON: “Mixed Seating”
What does this theme “Mixed Seating” have to do with the mechitzah (wall separation)? You will see the clear picture when I tell you the reasons. In our time I would say, around the 1950’s, Many of us had spent our lives in state schools such as CSD at Berkeley, Fremont, and MKSD at Trenton, NJ where I grew up as a student there. I am sure many of us remembered what we had to go through a lot of separateness in dining rooms, auditoriums, gym classes, basketball games at state schools and even in movies when they were shown at the auditorium!!! Why? Because the dormitory staff and supervisors knew what was best for us in the future. Many remembered when it was a special day for us when we were 16 or 17 years old and had a privilege to sit next to a girl in the movies at state school auditoriums, you really did not watch the movie, you hold the girl’s hand and maybe a few kisses. And in the dining room, when you are in high school and probably had a girlfriend or boyfriend so you could sit opposite of each other, yet you probably did not eat much due to leg playing under the tables! In the 1960’s, there was a fad of drive-in theaters around the country. Most of them were so excited to go despite the resistance from their parents! Why again??? Of course the girl and boy would sit together in the car and put your arm on your girlfriend’s shoulder, they should watch the movie to get their money’s worthwhile and well spent. Yet, I am sure that many know what they were doing in the car. That’s why many parents are very nervous about letting us go to the drive-in theaters with their dates. Anything can happen in the car because there was only one girl and one boy in a car and nobody else could see what they were doing in the car. Full of steamy and hot air that caused foggy in the car!!!
So I am talking about equality, there is a good article about women in the Talmud (Kiddushin 29a). The reason for separateness in the shul is to be found in the natural superiority that women has over man for upbringing and training the children. No men would ask for the equality as their rights in the daily routine chores of raising his children. Nature has endowed women with traits of character that makes her suitable for motherhood–that qualities that men cannot equal.
Recognizing this top-quality of woman as an indisputable asset to Jewish social living, our G-d decreed in the Torah that no religious law should interfere with the woman’s unique aptitude and capability of raising her children properly. We can readily see the wisdom of this law.
What would happen to our children if the Jewish women were to be obligated, as our Jewish men go to the shut, don tallith and tefillin end to participate in the service every Shabbos and holidays?
These Jewish women would be forced to neglect the needs of her children. Of course, the Jewish woman was required to participate in the shul service insofar as she was able to do so. We can, therefore well understand for the sake of preserving the public worship the custom arose to have the main shul for boys and men and any other part of the shul which was separated from the main shul was set aside for the women who, because of the reason mentioned above can attend only at certain times.
Our tradition men and women are considered equal in value — one is as good as the other. But equality in value does not include the identity of functions in all phases of life.
A good case can be made out to show our tradition in many cases found greater characteristic value in womankind than in mankind. The first man in history was called “Adam” from the Hebrew word, “adamah”. It means the earth from which he was created. His wife “Eve” has her Hebrew name, Chavah, it means “the mother of all life.” Man’s very name relates to his lowly origins, while woman’s name is a gift to her life — bearing function (giving births).
While the tradition Jewish always value their family above anything in general, as you noticed that they are “togetherness” in their homes. Where the togetherness of a family must be practiced and lived –that place is the home, not the shul. If a family goes to the theater together, goes on vacation together but is never home together. It is a joke. Because during the week each member of the family lead a completely separate and independent life. Nowadays during the day, the father is at work, mother is shopping and working and the children are at school. At night, the father is with the boys and the mother is with the girls. The children are scattered in all directions all over the city, or else they are all quarrelling which television programs or play games on computers. You call that togetherness????
Mixed seating is no solution for mixed-up homes!!! The only function of a religious service is prayer, and that prayer is a religious experience, not a social exercise. And how can one expect a man’s heart to be with G-d when his eyes are attracted elsewhere? Are you a skirt chaser? How can she try to attract the attention of G-d when she may be trying much harder to attract the attention of some men? Using mini-skirts or low-cut dress, etc.???
Now I am sure all of you are trying to relate to the meaning of mixed seating and the mechitzah (wall).
If there are men and women today complaining that they cannot experience this spiritual feeling from the Jewish traditional services. They should take to heart from an ancient parable:
When a king once spoke to his servant about the benefits of prayer, a loyal servant approached him with the complaint that he could not experience the thrill in prayer that the king got from it. Realizing that this person was sincere but was not able to concentrate on higher, thoughts blended in the prayers, the king decided to teach him a lesson. He ordered him to carry a bowl filled with hot oil on his head down the street and back to his palace, warning him that if he spilled a drop of oil, his head would be cut off. The young man sadly accepted the king’s order, placed the bowl on his head, walked down the street and returned without spilling a drop of the oil.
The king then asked him why he did not answer his mother as she called him while he was walking down the street. He scolded him for not being polite and did not return the call of his girlfriend who cried out to him as he was carrying out the kings order.
“Your highness” answered the bewildered young man, “my thoughts were concentrated upon that bowl of hot oil and I forgot everything else. How could I see or hear my mother or girlfriend when I had such a life-saving job to do?
My dear son answered: the softened heart king, “if you will concentrate on G-d when you pray as you concentrated your heart and mind on that bowl of hot oil, you too will finish your prayers with a feeling of spiritual level. For then yew will have experienced the thrill of having elevated yourself from this earth to reach inspiring spiritual heights of G-d.”
HEATED GROUP DISCUSSION
We had a group discussion. The topic was “To Be Continued From Last Year’s” heated discussion on ‘Interdating/lntermarriage.’ We also talked about the uprising problems on skinheads, anti-Semitic groups in the world and what we can do about it. Then we had evening services. Rabbi Fred Friedman gave another sermon on “Sex on Yom Kippur?”. We finally broke the fast at 7:31 p.m. Dinner was served with juices, marble and honey sponge cakes, tuna salad, egg salad, eggplant salad, eggplant with vegetables, and fruit salad.
We want to thank Cherilyn Bloodworth, Stephanie Johnson & Marsha Menacha who took great care of the kids, Aaron, Adam, Joshua, Michael, Justin, Jena , Johanna, and Brian.
SUNDAY BRUNCH
On Sunday, we had a brunch with lox, barbecue cod, whitefish, cream cheese, mini-danishes, etc. It was a very hot day so we had to move inside the house from the backyard where we had originally planned to serve. It was a blessing to have air conditioning and still be able to enjoy ourselves and listen to Connie Friedman’s wonderful presentation on, “Woman’s Role in the House.”
CONNIE FRIEDMAN’S PRESENTATION:
Today in society we women are made to feel that our role as a homemaker and a mother is a very degrading job.
When people ask a homemaker what she does, if she responses that she is a full time homemaker, that often is the end of the topic, or they say oh! What do you do all day?
Participants at Connie Friedman’s Presentation
Because of this reaction many mothers become dissatisfied with their role as a full time mother. Rarely does she stop to think that many people who work would gladly switch places with her. In order for any mother to feel satisfied with herself and her job. She must realize how important her job is.
Once she realizes that G-d has given her a baby with a soul, to teach and to love and to bring up in the ways of G-d she will feel much better about her job.
True there are many mundane tasks such as feeding, washing clothes, cooking and cleaning. But there you have to do it whether you work or not!!!
But her most important task at hand is to bring the children up in the ways of G-d. How does a Jewish mother accomplish this?
There are certain things based on the teachings of the Torah. Even though women do not have to study the Torah the way men do. She must become thoroughly acquainted with the laws so that she can teach her children the ways of the Torah. A mother can teach her children more by her actions that words. As the old saying goes “Actions speaker louder than words.”
A Jewish mother has an obligation to teach her children the Moral Laws of the Torah . What are the Moral Laws?
For example:
Hospitality; offer to help out others, invite them over for holidays if they don’t have a place or family. If they just lost a family member, offer to make something for them or take their children to school or pick them up.
Honesty; do not lie.
Do not gossip (Loshen Hora); do not talk behind people’s back,
Do not take G-d’s name in vain: Don’t say Oh My G-d or G-d bless you as you are telling G-d to bless that person. It is appropriate to say Thank G-d, or avoid G-d’s name, my goodness, oh shucks, etc.
Help her children choose the right friends; raise in a Jewish neighborhood and send them to a Jewish day school.
Chanukah Party- Dec. 12th
Hana Niv has kindly offered to host a Chanukah party on December 12th. It will be a brunch and exchange gift party at 11 a.m. Cost is $10.00 per person and under $5.00 Chanukah exchange gift.
NEW NCSY GROUP
Two NCSY (National Conference of Synagogue Youth) Our Way groups in Los Angeles has been formed. One is under Malka Breitman who is hearing and lives in Fairfax. She recently hosted a Sukkah brunch on October 3rd. Rabbi Greenspan was the guest speaker and spoke about Sukkot.
Their next event is an Israeli Continental Breakfast on November 21, Sunday at 10 a.m. with a guest speaker, Rabbi Avrohom Czagnick on “The Joys of Judaism.”
If you are interested to get more information or be on their mailing list, contact her at 213/938-8008 VOICE.
The other group is for teens under Lori & Jan Moore in North Hollywood. They hosted a Sukkot party on October 3rd. They have two deaf sons, Jason and Andrew. They can be contacted at 818/509-7740 V/TDD evenings or 818/ 894-2733 V/TDD daytime.
AGAIN THANKS TO RABBI & MRS. FRIEDMAN for making the services possible for Creative Services participants. They did a wonderful job! We all enjoyed it very much and hope to have them again next year.
A LETTER OF THANKS went to Hillel Hebrew Academy/Rabbi Menachem Gottesman for letting us use their facility, and their maintenance man, Manuel who made sure we were comfortable and happy with our rooms, Rabbi Abner Weiss & Rabbi Joshua Berkowitz of Beth Jacob Congregation for loaning us the mechitzah (wall), Rabbi A. Kalinsky at Orthodox Union for getting us discounts on the Artscroll books, Dina Dror for letting guests stay overnight at her residence, Phyliss Dror for her generous donation and Pauline & David Dror for getting the talks, making contacts with Hillel, Orthodox Union, donation, etc… It would not have been possible without ail of these people as listed as above.
THANKS to Hana Niv for her drawing of the couple with leg playing under the table!
CHANUKAH – December 8, 1993
Reprinted from Congregation Mogen David’s News
As we approach the end of the secular year, Jewish parents (and grandparents) are once again faced with what has come to be called the “December Dilemma”: What shall we do about Christmas? What is the nature of our own Jewishness? It can be a very difficult time. Because we live in an overwhelmingly Christian environment, it is almost impossible for a Jewish child to escape a certain amount of peer pressure about celebrating Christmas. Children growing up in mixed-married families where some relatives are Christian face an even more difficult challenge. Loving parents who to see their children grow up with strong Jewish commitments must be willing to take a stand. As beautiful as many Christmas traditions, are Christmas is not a Jewish holiday and ought not to be celebrated by Jewish children. To do so may well add considerable identity confusion to an already conflicted youngster. The business world has not made the problem any easier. Madison Avenue has pretty much convinced our society that Christmas isn’t a religious holiday at all, but rather a secular American holiday. Nonsense! Truly committed Christians reject that notion. The birthday of Jesus Christ is, for Christians, a deeply spiritual occasion and all the customs and symbols have specific religious significance. Justifying observances on the basis of a supposed secular meaning does a disservice to Christianity.
Many people, Jews and gentiles alike, seem to regard Chanukah as the “Jewish Christmas.” It isn’t. But there is some merit in my mind, to taking advantage of the proximity of Chanukah to Christmas, giving our children an authentically Jewish experience to enhance identity and self-esteem. Rather than our customary emphasis on gift-giving, Jewish parents would do well to focus on the beautiful family customs of Chanukah: gathering around the candles each night, sharing songs and stories about our heroes and heritage, and discussing the message of religious freedom and resistance to assimilation. These underlying themes of Chanukah make it a critical time for coming to grips with the nature of our identification with Judaism.
Chanukah is a home-based holiday in which the importance of the home as transmitter of values takes center stage. It is beautiful in its own right… and it’s fun! We urge you to make the most of it.
We all wish you a very happy Chanukah.
1993 Yom Kippur Services – Participants
