Our Way/Orthodox Union
There are many ways that Jewish Singles meet and marry, but there is a tradition that they first meet through a shadchan. A shadchan is a person who the man and woman approve to exchange information about each other for dating. If they are both agreeable, then they meet. After the date they each share their experience with the shadchan and it is decided if they should meet each other again. Sometimes the shadchan stays very involved with the couple till their final decision to marry and sometimes they do not, and the couple meet on their own and make their final decision. There are many shadchanim who do this job professionally. Often a friend or family member is the shadchan. If the couple decide to marry, a gift is often given to the shadchan in appreciation of his/her work in bringing the couple together.
The very first shadchan in the Torah is Eliezer. Eliezer was a very loyal servant to Avraham. It was after the Akeida (binding of Yitzchak) that Avraham appointed Eliezer to find a wife for Yitzchak. By closely following what Eliezer did, we can learn many lessons on what the right steps are to have a successful marriage.
The first thing we learn about Eliezer in the Torah chapter is that he was very loyal to Avraham. The rabbis tell us Eliezer had a daughter. At first, he wanted Yitzchak to marry his daughter; Avraham did not agree. Eliezer never brought it up again. This disappointment did not stop Eliezer from being loyal to Avraham and doing his job. Also, in the entire chapter about Eliezer being a shadchan, it never mentions his name once! Eliezer is called a servant. Eliezer was completely devoted to Avraham, never thinking about himself.
In looking for the right girl for Yitzchak, Eliezer focused on good character. Of course, beauty, intelligence, personality, wealth, etc. are all important, but good character is most important. Rivkah drew pails of water to give drink to Eliezer, his workers and ten camels! It was because Rivkah showed so much caring for others, that Eliezer decided she was the right person for Yitzchak.
The most powerful method Eliezer used to find the right wife for Rivka was prayer. Every person who is single should do everything appropriate to find the right person for marriage e.g.: travel, making connections, etc., but there is nothing more powerful than praying to Hashem. Praying to Hashem that you marry the right person to build together a Jewish Home will go a long way in marrying the right person for you!
Source: Our Way/Orthodox Union
